old dork x triangle
by CueTheApplause
Summary: merry christmas you fucking sinners


Ford honestly didn't know how he'd ended up in this situation.

He'd been ecstatic after arriving in Gravity Falls. So many anomalies-exactly what he'd been looking for! It was perfect.

He'd continued studying the happenings of Gravity Falls until-

"Gah!"

Ford dropped his head down on the desk with a loud thunk, only to spring back up, hissing in pain. He slumped in his seat.

He didn't understand! It felt like he'd studied, recorded, thoroughly investigated every anomaly he'd come across and he was still no closer to finding their origin. He huffed in annoyance, rubbing at the tender spot on his forehead.

Maybe taking a walk would clear his mind.

* * *

It didn't clear his mind at all.

He'd wandered the forest for a little while, confident that he had enough knowledge of its layout to make his way back home before nightfall. Whether he could or not hadn't come up, however, seeing as not half an hour into his walk he'd tripped over a tree root and fallen face first into what had appeared to be a cave system. Normally he'd be excited- this was just what he'd needed to pull him out of his rut, except that the hole he'd fallen into was too deep to climb out of. Ford was forced to try and find an exit through the cave system, armed with only a flashlight.

He grumbled to himself as he walked, sweeping the flashlight across the cave walls. Suddenly, the flashlight sputtered out, plunging him into darkness. Ford groaned, smacking the flashlight against the heel of his palm as he continued to walk in the darkness. Just as suddenly as it had turned off it flickered back to life- just in time to keep Ford from running face first into a wall.

Ford flinched, startled. Sighing- he'd really thought that this was the right way! -he turned to go, almost missing the spot of color caught briefly in the flashlight's beam.

"What?" he mumbled to himself, swinging the flashlight towards the color he'd seen. His jaw dropped.

A huge mural decorated the wall in swaths of yellow and black- a hazy triangle with a sun-like symbol in the middle. He squinted. An eye, maybe?

He stayed by the painting for what seemed like hours, painstakingly copying the symbols into his journal, and when that was done, he simply sat by the painting, basking in the glory of a mystery about to be unraveled and solved.

And then he realized he still didn't know how to get out if the cave system.

"Damn it!"

* * *

Ford trudged out of the woods in the weak dawn light, feeling slightly giddy despite his exhaustion. This could quite possibly be the thing to lift him out of his block!

Ford hummed, slightly out of key, as he put on a pot of coffee. As he waited for the drink to brew, he sat at the table in front of his journal and contemplated the symbols.

He stayed like that through the week, stopping to sleep only when necessary, until finally he'd done it.

Or at least he'd thought he did.

Once he'd translated the symbols and performed the ritual, he'd expected something flashy. At the very least he'd expected…well, _something_.

But nothing happened. It appeared that the symbols, the ritual, and by extension, the mystery they'd come with, had held absolutely no meaning. Disappointed, Ford trudged off to bed. It seemed he was still stuck in his rut after all.

… _Hey smart guy! Care for a game of interdimensional chess...?_

* * *

From then on, Bill became his constant companion. Fiddleford was his friend, yes, but Bill _understood_ him. He'd provided the blueprints for the portal, hell, he was in Ford's _body_ most of the time- how could Ford not develop some kind of bond with him?

So that's why when Bill asked for something, Ford was willing to hear him out.

"Ya know Sixer, I've been thinking," Bill said.

"Hmm?"

"Being in your body is all well and good, but wouldn't we accomplish everything a _lot_ faster if I had my own wouldn't it?"

Ford paused in his contemplation of the chessboard between them.

"You want me to make a body for you?" Ford furrowed his brows. "Is that even possible?"

Sometimes Ford wondered how Bill managed to make so many facial expressions with no mouth and just one eye.

"Sixer, you're building a portal that can open a door between dimensions."

"Point taken."

* * *

"Gotta admit, I'm impressed!" Bill twisted at the waist, grinning down at his various new appendages. He bounced on the balls of his feet, laughing when he stumbled. "This body's a lot lighter than yours, Sixer!"

"Yeah, that's, um…body mass, a-and…look, can you just put these on?"

Blushing, Ford held out the outfit he'd scavenged from the back of his closet. A worn pair of jeans, a faded yellow sweater, and an old leather belt, since Bill's new hips were slimmer than his.

Bill slid into the jeans, blinking confusedly at the belt until Ford helped him thread it through the belt loops and buckle it, staring thoughtfully at Ford's blush while Ford just tried to touch as little of Bill's brand new flesh as possible.

This plan goes completely to hell when Bill takes one look at the sweater and declares that "meatsuits are confining enough anyway!".

* * *

From then on it seems like Bill makes it his mission to torture Ford as much as possible. Sidling just a little too close when they're working on blueprints, leaning on counters and tables and displaying the long sinuous curve of his torso, sliding his fingers over his body like he's surprised that it's there- it's enough to drive Ford insane.

It all comes to a head in Ford's kitchen one day, when Bill is leaning too close, and Ford can't stop thinking about how he hadn't given Bill any underwear, and everything that that thought entailed, and, and, Bill's wearing _jeans_ wouldn't that hurt, but it's still a very nice-no no _interesting_ , it's an _interesting_ thought, he is a scientist and his musings are entirely objective.

This is a lie and Ford knows it.

So when Bill reaches around Ford, basically pinning him to the counter with everything but his hands, Ford gives up. And by gives up, he means he flips them both around and crushes their lips together.

After the kiss breaks Ford has exactly two seconds to think _oh god what did I do_ before Bill barks out a laugh.

"I've gotta say, I didn't think you had it in you, Sixer!" Bill grinned, reaching up to tangle his fingers in the hair at the nape of Ford's neck.

"But you're gonna have to work just a little bit harder."

Suddenly, Bill yanked at Ford's neck until they were face to face, mouths less than an inch apart. Bill's hand traveled from his neck to the side of his face, tapping at his jaw line with those long, dexterous fingers. Bill smirked, his long tongue flicking out to swipe at his lips. He cackled when Ford's breath hitched, ducking out of Ford's arms when Ford tried to kiss him again.

"Didn't I just say you'd have to work harder?" Bill tsked, wagging his finger in a scolding fashion. "Maybe I just wasn't specific enough. As I remember..." Ford's eyes snapped to Bill's hips and his mouth gaped slightly as Bill began unbuckling his borrowed belt. "You work better with a specific task in mind, Fordsy. Work on the portal, make me a body…" Bill tossed the belt off to the side, "Maybe I should give you another challenge." Without the belt, the jeans- _Ford's_ jeans- slipped down Bill's narrow hips. Only Bill's slightly spread legs kept them from falling to the floor.

Bill grin grew as he tracked Ford's gaze. Slowly, he unbuttoned the jeans and drew down the zipper until the jeans grew loose enough to fall to the floor in a puddle of denim.

"Race you up the stairs, Sixer," he purred, stepping out of the jeans and spinning on his heel to bound across the kitchen.

Ford stood frozen for a moment before racing after Bill, taking the steps two at a time to catch up with the demon. He skidded to a halt in front of his open bedroom door, staring at where Bill perched on his bed, lazily stroking his dick. Bill smirked up at Ford, tipping his head back so Ford could see his throat work as Bill said, "You're late, Sixer."

Ford managed to unglue his jaw enough to say, "Seems like I'm right on time."

Bill barked out a laugh, one hand still working at his dick. "There's that spunk!" He used his free hand to crook a finger at Ford. "Come here and maybe you can show me a different kind."

Ford stumbled into the room, coming to an almost uncertain halt before Bill. The demon chuckled, reaching up to tug Ford closer by the belt loops. He smoothed his thumb up and over Ford's hipbone, slipping it under the researcher's turtleneck.

Suddenly, Bill grabbed the front of Ford's sweater, jerking so that Ford tumbled onto the bed. Bill swung himself around to straddle Ford's lap, resting lightly against Ford's upper thighs. He smirked, skimming his hands up Ford's sides to help Ford fumble his way out of the sweater. Ford flung the sweater across the room as Bill raised himself on his knees so the researcher could wriggle out of his jeans, leaving him in a pair of dark boxers.

Bill grinned, slipping down to grind against Ford's cock. Bill worked up to a steady rhythm as Ford panted, falling back onto the bed.

"B-Bill," he gasped.

Bill hummed, continuing his slow grind as Ford reached up to grasp the back of Bill's head.

"Can…can I…"

"Spit it out, Sixer," the demon purred. He lifted onto his knees when Ford expected him to grind down, making his hips stutter and buck. Ford whined, reaching for Bill's hips only to be stopped by the demon's palm pressing his chest into the mattress.

"Nope! Not until you tell me!" Bill snickered, leaning down to hover over Ford's face. "You forget where we met, Fordsy. I've been in your mind. I doubt anything you say-"

"Call me daddy."

Bill paused, blinking. For a while there was silence, and Ford would've been proud of stunning Bill if his face hadn't been growing steadily redder and redder. Oh god, what had he been thinking? Why had he blurted that out like that? Why had he-

Bill chuckled lowly, resuming his slow rocking. "Well, well, Sixer. You just keep on surprising me. If my memory's correct- and it always is- that's an _affectionate_ term, and one for a parental unit at that!"

Bill ground his hips down sharply, grinning when he saw the way Ford's head snapped back as he groaned in pleasure.

"But I'll indulge you, Fordsy." Bill leaned down, pressing their chests together as he leered down at Ford with half-lidded eyes. He pressed closer, Ford straining up to kiss him even as Bill pushed at his chest with his hands, fingers curling to scratch at Ford's shoulders.

When their lips were barely brushing, Bill smirked and whispered, "Or should I say 'Daddy'."

Ford groaned, heaving against Bill to flip them around so the demon was the one being pressed into the bed. "Fuck," Ford gasped, rutting almost mindlessly against Bill's erection. Bill moaned, throwing his head back and clutching the researcher closer.

"You want to?" He panted, tilting his head to let Ford mouth at his neck. "C'mon then, get inside, fuck me open daddy-"

Ford growled, reaching up to press his fingers against Bill's tongue. Bill's mouth opened willingly, his long tongue winding around Ford's fingers. Ford mouthed down Bill's chest, stopping briefly to tongue roughly at Bill's nipple. Bill moaned around Ford's fingers and Ford grinned before biting down harshly on Bill's nipple. Bill jolted with a yelp and Ford grinned again before releasing a yelp of his own. Ford sat back on his heels, shaking out the hand that had previously been in Bill's mouth- now stained slightly red from the shallow cuts made by Bill's teeth.

"Oops," Bill purred, propping himself up on his elbows.

"You bit me!" Ford exclaimed.

"So did you," Bill smirked, before sighing. "Here," he said, "Give me your hand."

Ford frowned, extending his hand. Bill took it, brushing his fingers across the cuts. Blue fire licked gently over them, washing away the cuts as easily as Ford would have wiped a stray drop of coffee from the counter.

"How-" Ford started, only to be cut off by Bill rolling his eyes.

"I'm a demon, Sixer. Remember? I can do things your puny human minds can only _dream_ of." He snickered. "Get it? Dream of." He sighed suddenly, dropping down to spread himself across the sheets, hooking his legs around Ford's waist. "I agree though," he said, low and sultry. "It was bad of me to bite you." He tilted his head, displaying the long curve of his neck. He gazed up at Ford through half-lidded eyes. "Whatcha gonna do, _daddy_? Gonna punish me?"

Ford's breath hitched, staring down at the demon splayed out underneath him. Bill met his gaze, eyelids lowered and lips parted- the most submissive Ford had ever seen him.

Slowly, Ford trailed a hand down Bill's chest, brushing his thumb against his nipple as he passed it. Bill arched into the touch with a low whine.

Ford grinned. "Yeah," he breathed. "Yeah, I will."

Ford leaned down, pressing his face to Bill's neck and mouthing at the soft skin there. He rubbed slow circles on Bill's hip, gradually moving closer and closer to Bill's cock. He grazed Bill's neck with his teeth, satisfied with Bill's answering moan and the way his hips stuttered up to try and meet his.

He could feel Bill's feet sliding against Ford's sides, trying in vain to push his boxers down. Ford sat up, smirking when the demon tried to follow him before flopping back down and scowling.

"Come here," Ford said, sitting back on his heels. Bill grinned, apparently finished with his rather short-lived bout of submission. The demon made as if to straddle Ford, pausing when Ford grasped his hips to stop him.

"No," he murmured. "Like this."

Ford used his hold on Bill's hips to maneuver him so that Bill was laid out on his stomach, ass positioned over Ford's lap. Bill craned his neck to look back over his shoulder.

"Ford, wha-?"

Ford spanked Bill's ass, the smack resounding around the room.

"Ah-!"

Bill's eyes widened as he gasped.

Ford delivered a few more harsh smacks to Bill's ass, pausing when he saw Bill's body begin to shake. He looked up, irrationally worried that he'd hurt Bill, when he realized-

"Are you…laughing?"

Bill burst out into cackles.

"You think this is punishment, Sixer? Pain is hilarious!" Bill laughed up at him from further down on the bed. Ford snarled.

"You won't be laughing when I'm done with you, Cipher." With that, Ford dragged Bill roughly back up the bed, so that he was splayed across the mattress, face shoved roughly into the pillows and ass in the air. Ford snatched a small bottle of lube from the nightstand as he moved back behind Bill. Ford smirked as he brushed his fingers across Bill's ass, lightly enough to make the demon shiver.

Moving down so that his face was positioned above Bill's ass, Ford blew gently on the demon's hole, reveling in the slow shudder that rolled through Bill's body. He breathed out again.

"Sixer, what-!"

"That's daddy to you, Bill." Ford murmured, right before plunging between Bill's cheeks to tongue at his pucker, relishing the cry that tore itself from Bill's lips. Flattening his tongue, he laved attention on Bill's hole, traveling down to press the flattened muscle against the top of Bill's balls. Ford leaned away slightly, grinning when Bill tried to cant his hips back against Ford's face. He reached up to grip Bill's hips, stilling them. Bill keened into the pillow.

Ford smeared some lube on his fingers, pressing one just hard enough to catch on the rim of Bill's hole.

"Dammit," Bill hissed. "Fucking- do you need an invitation?"

Ford just grinned, because he can see the way Bill's thighs are shaking, on the verge of sensory overload. He slid a finger inside Bill's tightness. Ford tried to be gentle, tried to remember that, dream demon or not, this is Bill's first time (in this body at least- but he really didn't want to think about Bill's hypothetical past sexcapades when he was two fingers deep inside him and huh, when did that happen?) but he couldn't help himself, not when Bill pushed back onto his fingers like that, and before he knew it five of his fingers were inside Bill, stretching him while Bill gasped and gripped the sheets.

Bill threw a look over his shoulder, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, and all thoughts of trying to be gentle flew out of Ford's head once and for all.

Ford wanted to wreck him.

Sliding his fingers out of Bill, he pressed his other hand against the demon's hip, coaxing him into rolling over onto his back. Coating his dick in more lube, he pushed in slowly, less to be gentle at this point than because he could see Bill was desperate for it. He rolled his hips down into Bill's slighter frame, parroting the rhythm the demon himself had set when they'd first tumbled onto the bed. Ford grabbed one of Bill's legs behind the knee and pressed it up over his shoulder, Bill curling his other leg around Ford's waist. Ford built up a steady rhythm, slamming into Bill until the demon was keening into Ford's neck, nails raking red lines down his back.

"Fuck, fuck, I'm-"

Rising up so that he was kneeling between Bill's legs, Ford immediately stilled his hips, grabbing Bill's wrists to prevent him getting himself off.

"What the fuck-?"

Bill practically sobbed, twisting his hips in a desperate attempt to regain friction.

"Who's doing this to you, Bill?"

Ford punctuated this statement with a roll of his hips, grinning when Bill's cock jumped.

"You, you, it's you-"

Bill trailed off with a whine, fingers scrabbling uselessly against the sheets.

"Who, Bill?" Ford demanded again, this time pulling on Bill's arms so that the demons back arched, pushing hid dick deeper inside.

"Ah, ah-!" Bill panted.

"Daddy!"

Ford grinned. "Good boy," he all but purred, hips snapping into Bill with increasing speed.

"Daddy," Bill gasped again. "More, harder, _fuck_ , please daddy!"

It didn't take long after that for Bill to scream out his release, clenching down hard on Ford's cock as he rode out his orgasm. The feeling of Bill spasming around him brought Ford over the edge, and he shuddered through his orgasm, burying his groan in Bill's neck.

They lay there for a while, panting into each other's shoulders. Eventually, Ford pulled out of Bill with a sigh, flopping over to lie on his side. Ford hesitantly stretched to place a kiss on the corner of Bill's mouth, tensing when Bill's eyes cracked open.

"Hmmph."

He grinned lazily, rolling to press his body against Ford's, twining their legs together. Ford made a face, though Bill seemed uncaring of the mess between them.

"Not bad, Daddy." Bill gazed at him through his lashes, chuckling when Ford's breath hitched. He nestled closer to the researcher, tucking his head under Ford's chin. Smiling to himself, Ford thinks that this was the happiest he'd been in a very long time.

* * *

"Didja miss me? Admit it, you missed me!"

"Hardly."

Decades later, Ford looks into Bill's eye and lies.


End file.
